I see one stylistic problem and five other problems for a total of six problems. Do you see more? Scroll down for my opinion.
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Just saw 2 women = This isn’t necessarily an error, per se, especially in a meme where people are more likely to take sloppy shortcuts in their haste to convey wit. The Arabic numeral 2 should be written out as two. Now, there are different rules for when to stop writing out numbers as words and when to start writing them as Arabic numerals. Sources on this topic are all over the place. A Reddit source says, “It is generally best to write out numbers from zero to one hundred in nontechnical writing.” Many other sources, however, cite the more familiar idea that one should use “number words” for numbers and quantities from one to ten (or to nine), then use numerals after. So I’d say there’s some room for discretion here, but everyone will agree that two women is better than writing 2 women. Keep in mind that the words-versus-numbers issue is also significant for things like dates, page numbers, sports-jersey numbers, proper nouns that take Roman numerals, etc. The whole thing is a huge can of worms, so today, I’m focusing exclusively on this one issue.
…kissing on a crowded train and a guy looked at em… = Stick a comma after train to separate the two independent clauses: comma-and.
…kissing on a crowded train and a guy looked at em… = Stick an apostrophe before em to show that this is a truncated form of them. Make sure the apostrophe is curled in the right direction: looked at ’em, not looked at ‘em.
…and said “y’all can’t do that at home?” = Put a comma after said.
…and said “y’all can’t do that at home?” = Capitalize Y’all.
He got some weird looks and so he felt the need… = Put a comma before and to separate the two independent clauses correctly. Also consider deleting and.
Here’s the cleaned-up text:
Just saw two women kissing on a crowded train, and a guy looked at ’em and said, “Y’all can’t do that at home?” He got some weird looks, so he felt the need to clarify to everyone: “I’m not a homophobe, just a hater.”
Try not to punctuate like an idiot. It sucks all the wit out of what you’re trying to say.
As for the joke itself: I think this meme can be interpreted differently depending on the political leanings of the listener.
ADDENDUM: Quizzes are now here! Visit this site, find the quiz with the relevant unit numbers, be mindful of what topics are covered in each unit, and take the quiz(zes) as many times as you want. Nothing is recorded, so don’t feel bad if you stumble. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, study a bit more, and try again. You can also take a “snapshot” of your completed quiz, email it to me, and I can help you review by giving you hints as to the correct answers.
New Yorkers saying, "Y'all" is sad.