BOE #74

more on morons and commas

The question in the above meme is fine. But the same error happens twice in the answer given. The answer would be funnier were the bad punctuation (or lack thereof) not sucking out the joke’s dignity.

Scroll down for more. Oh, and there’s a third error.

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Let’s go over the grammar once again.

clause = a group of words with a subject and a related predicate
independent clause = a clause that is a complete, stand-alone thought
dependent clause = a clause that cannot stand on its own

When a sentence has two independent clauses, we call that a compound sentence. The erroneous sentences above are both compound sentences—two clauses each.

(1) Because he is the Grim Reaper and he needs a scythe to reap.
(2) Otherwise he would be known as the Grimtoucher and that might get him on a list.

We’ll ignore the Because in sentence (1). In informal English, it’s fine for what it’s doing (i.e., introducing the answer to a question). Pretend sentence (1) starts with He is. So the first independent clause is He is the Grim Reaper. The second independent clause is he needs a scythe to reap. Connecting them is the conjunction and, but it should be a comma-and.

• Because he is the Grim Reaper, and he needs a scythe to reap.

The second sentence, sentence (2), has the same problem and the same solution.

• Otherwise he would be known as the Grimtoucher, and that might get him on a list.

But sentence (2) has another problem: You need a comma after Otherwise because it’s an introductory expression. So—

• Otherwise, he would be known as the Grimtoucher, and that might get him on a list.

Okay, I think we’re done.

THESE COMPOUND SENTENCES ARE CORRECT:
Sarah! Your new boyfriend’s cute, and he smells good, too!
I can play the piano, and she can play the elephant scrotum.
We charge $500 for weddings, and we bring our own food and drinks.
Ronaldo was prepared, for he had encountered this anaconda before.
The kids vomited the entire length of the ride, so they were shot by park staff.

Remember the commas when you need a comma-conjunction for compound sentences.